Dragonfly Wings

Last summer I found a dragonfly on our deck while we were having a bbq.  He was beautiful, serene, colourful, and a direct link to the past...my family enjoyed talking about our little visitor, who was chillin' in and around our feet, as we ate.  The next day I found his body in the same place.

With the most care and respect I could provide, I gently scooped him up on a piece of paper and carried his body inside to our front foyer (great evening light).  I spent a few minutes trying to capture some of the details of his amazing little body (this is big for me as I am quite squeamish, but this was different, this felt spiritual somehow).

This is a favourite shot.  Look at how perfect nature is.  Look at how delicate that wing is.  Look at the beauty.

We are like dragonfly wings...unique, beautiful, fragile, and able to touch people in myriad ways.

Last Fall I was diagnosed with Basal Cell Carcinoma (skin cancer), after my dermatologist thought the 'annoying bump' on my cheek looked 'suspicious'.  She took a biopsy and called the following week with the news (while I was enjoying a beer-garita with a best friend in NYC - needless to say it was a bit of a shock to the system!).  Basal Cell is a nonmelanoma cancer, which is really lucky as it is the golden child of skin cancers, and with a small procedure this coming week I will be totally fine.

A few weeks ago a close friend visited her dermatologist because she was concerned at how the appearance of the skin on her ear had changed.  She was diagnosed with atypical cells and the doc told her it would have progressed into Melanoma - the scariest kind of skin cancer.  She will have surgery in a few weeks.

Last week another close friend wrote me to say that she had been diagnosed with early stage Breast Cancer.  She is currently attending to the MRI's, biopsies, ultrasounds, etc. that her doctor orders and is expected to have a lumpectomy and further treatment so that she may be Cancer free.

In 1995 my mom was diagnosed with fourth stage Breast Cancer (for those lucky enough to not be 'in the know' with Cancer: 4 is bad!) and, with a grim prognosis, she fought.  We were blessed with her presence for two and a half years more before she said goodbye.  She was diagnosed late, due to a lack of luck, a lack of her medical practitioners asking the right questions on routine visits, AND - now this is the one that matters most - because, I believe, she knew something was very wrong and was too scared to pursue an answer.

So, in the next three weeks, three people I love (counting myself here!) will have Cancer related surgeries.  We are all married, we all work, we all contribute to the lives of those around us, we matter...just like EVERY LIVING BEING ON PLANET EARTH MATTERS.

Treasure yourself, pay attention to changes in your body and on your skin, know that you are loved and your presence in our world matters.  It is imperative to visit your doctor, to speak openly, and to be your own advocate.  Don't ever fear knowledge for knowledge is power.

Remember that your life is as delicate as a dragonfly's wings and you must honour and respect it, there are countless people who want you to be okay!  Know that, just as our little friend's wings inspired me without his knowledge, so too do you inspire others.

Life - and health - are beautiful!

Lori

I don't accept your definition of "beautiful"!

I must forewarn you that this first post of 2013 is a bit of a rant, but I am so disheartened that I felt compelled to write...

I was (mindlessly) flipping through a magazine yesterday, and left it laying open on the kitchen table (it had been keeping me company while my daughter was in a time-out as I have learned it's best not to stray too far as she is quick to notice any opportunities for get aways ;)!)  Once her time-out had ended and we'd had our 'talk', I carried on with the rest of my day and the magazine, Harper's Bazaar Jan '13, just laid there, untouched.

When my husband arrived home, hours later, he wandered over to it (it was the only thing on the table) and, with obvious disbelief, said 'that isn't toned and taut!'  I was curious as I hadn't even looked at that page, never mind read the small print on the photo, and so I went to where he stood to see for myself.  This photo, credited to Sean Cunningham, on page 264, has the caption "Toned and taut backstage at Michael Kors" and in large, bold print beside it is the caption, "Better Body."  

Let me make one thing very clear upfront, I am not criticizing the model nor the photographer.  I AM criticizing Harper's Bazaar and Michael Kors.  This beautiful girl looks unhealthy and Harper's Bazaar is using her image to 'inspire' women to get in shape?!  Michael Kors likely had zero input into his runway model's picture being used for this article; however, in my mind, he is complicit by having hired a model for his show whom appears to have an eating disorder.   This layout is part of an entire series entitled, "New Year, New You", and sub-titled, "Give yourself a head-to-toe makeover in nine days with these expert hair, skin, and body tips." by Jessica Prince.  I am here to propose vehemently argue that looking gaunt and unwell is NOT the body image that women should be aspiring to!

I should admit that I have been complaining about the scale recently...just before Christmas my family attended a wedding in Mexico where I indulged in sugary drinks and bigger-than-necessary meals, returning home just in time to participate in a multitude of social gatherings complete with appies, drinks, and mashed potatoes!  I knew that I had made unhealthy choices (albeit fun ones!) and it was time to get back on track, which, for me, means portion control and more exercise.  I will also admit that I'm not lovin' the reflection staring back at me at the moment BUT that isn't because I want to look like I'm starving myself, rather because I know what my body looks and feels like when I am healthy, when I am eating well, drinking water, and exercising.  I accept (and am learning to be more accepting) of my body and the only time I feel unhappy with it, with myself, is when I haven't respected it enough to make healthy choices.  

I DO NOT ACCEPT the "beautiful" that magazines are pushing down our throats...if you are naturally a size 2 or naturally a size 12, be happy, be healthy - we all have our own, innate figures - celebrate who you are whilst striving for health.   Know that healthy for me may look very different from healthy for you, and that's okay!  

I will write the Editor in Chief at Harper's Bazaar outlining what I've said here and I will also be much more prudent in what I leave laying around - our kids are bombarded enough with unrealistic imagery out in the world, I certainly don't need to leave it on the table for them.

So, let 2013 be about your HEALTH, about FEELING GREAT, and about recognition that what we see in magazines is not real and is quite often not healthy.  

Here's to a happy and healthy 2013, beautifuls!

Life is beautiful!

Lori

What are you waiting for?

There’s a recurring theme when I speak with women about booking a session (be it family or glamour) and it is, “oh, I’d love to have photos but I’d like to {fill in the blank} first’.  The most common hesitation is with regard to weight and I am here to tell you that you are beautiful, right now, today!

In a few days it will be 15 years since my mom’s death and not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and miss her.  My mom was BEAUTIFUL…her smile and the sparkle in her eyes brightened any room she was in.  She was generous beyond measure and stubborn and kind and loyal and an honest-to-goodness poster child for her Zodiac sign of Cancer!  She also struggled with her weight.  I believe that because of her insecurity about her weight she never pursued us having family portraits and, in large part, the only images that exist of her are snapshots.  I can’t tell you how much I wish we had professional portraits done before she was ill, before she was gone. 

A photographer ‘friend’ (we’ve never met in person but I think he’s the coolest!), Edward Verosky, published an article last year (http://www.edverosky.net/blog/2011/03/an-important-time-to-be-a-photographer/) in which he wrote about a conversation he’d had with a salesman at a large photography store in NYC.  Their conversation centred around the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and its impact with regard to photography.  The salesman said this, “More people wanted cameras, and I think it had something to do with the fact that they started thinking about how things around you might not always be there.”  And, man, was he right… the people we love, the legs we have today, and the city skyline we grew up with are all transient and we cannot know how long we will have them for.

I recently saw a greeting card that read, “All I want for my 40^th is my 25 year old body”.  Isn’t it true that we are so critical of ourselves, on a daily basis, that we don’t spend enough time (if any) relishing in how great we look, how wonderful we feel, how our hair is softer now that we’ve discovered Moroccan Oil :), how much energy we have, how grateful we are for our health, and the list of today’s blessings goes on and on.   Why do we wait for comparisons to the past in order to realize today’s fortunes?

I know firsthand that a woman wants to get ‘prepared’ for a photo session, especially a glamour or boudoir session, and it makes sense.  I also think that the preparations for a beauty shoot can do wonders for us…it made me more conscious of what I was eating, it motivated me to drink more water, I have never been as disciplined with my workouts as I was leading up to my own boudoir shoot, and I felt like I was demonstrating a wonderful example to my children about finding balance in life and not always putting ourselves, as moms/wives/employees, at the bottom of the list.  We are important, and we need to value our own health, wellbeing, and happiness and, in so doing, we better the lives of everyone around us.  What I don’t believe in is setting unrealistic goals (for instance, "I will do a portrait sitting as soon as I have Elle McPherson's body!") that you feel must be achieved before gifting yourself, and your loved ones, with images of the beautiful woman you are today.

So, for every woman reading this…don’t put off recording your life’s story because of how you think you should look; hire a professional photographer, who knows what equipment, lighting, and posing to employ in accentuating your unique and innate beauty, and celebrate who you are TODAY…trust me, the experience and resulting images will be treasured!

Life is beautiful!

Lori